I have been a little quiet as of late over here on my small corner of the internet, home life has been consuming every minute of my time and our family has been left heartbroken at the loss of our dog, Maddi.
I know this isn't something I'd typically write about but I thought it might somehow make me feel better to put it down in words as I just can't seem to believe I'll never see her again.
On the 2nd October 2002 we picked up the smallest bundle of joy in the form of the prettiest Cocker Spaniel you will ever see, our family was complete and we shared eleven unforgettable years with our Maddi. She was the heart of our family and a friend to talk to and offer a comforting cuddle whenever you needed, warmth, company and hours on end of entertainment and she asked for nothing back in return but a good rub on her belly and the crust of your toast in a morning.
Sadly, in a bitter twist of fate, we lost Maddi on Wednesday 2nd October after a short illness. Over the past two weeks we noticed her increasing weight-loss, which wasn't like Maddi and her admirable appetite, and after several fruitless trips to the vets, over this past weekend it was confirmed that she had a large tumour that had previously gone undetected- we were given the option to operate but with a small chance of her coming around post-op and the shock of the news we were faced with, we instead took our Maddi home (with medicine to keep her content) to enjoy her as much as we could in our last days together.
We chose to have Maddi go to sleep at home, with us all around her, on 'her' sofa, with the smells, faces and sounds that she is familiar with surrounding her rather than as foreign a place as a veterinary clinic. I'm so happy it was calm and peaceful for her, however traumatic it may have been for us and the guilt that comes with it.
She wasn't ready; it wasn't her time- the tumour aside which affected her eating and breathing, she had years left in her and had the most infectious, young spirit. She was the happiest dog and though she'd acquired some grey tufts around the edges, people always mistook her for a puppy and no-one could resit her charm, going in for a rub and snuggle themselves, which she so happily obliged.
I can't even begin to explain the joy she brought to our lives everyday of hers and though I can only feel hurt and sadness at the moment, while it is so raw, I will always remember the special time we have had with our beautiful girl and cherish those moments so dearly. She is so utterly loved by us all that we named our narrowboat after her, which now stands as a way in remembering her and she in some way lives on in her family.
I know I can speak on behalf of all the Jones family in saying that she has truly made our lives and I thank her so much for that, she is completely irreplaceable and is sorely missed. The familiar sound of her pitter-patter around the house, her nudging under your arm with her nose to tease you into giving her a fuss and her warm, reassuring weight on your chest as she lay with you or was tucked in nicely around your legs.
I'll leave you with a favourite picture of mine of the one and only, Maddi.
(Love you so much x x x)