Monday, 15 June 2015

I Don't Know How To 'Adult'

It was only when the other week, as I sat struggling to fathom any words to write in a Christening card, did I realise that I was in fact an adult. 

I had a suspicion I was, what with recently buying a house and holding down a job and all but I figured it was just me imagining it all in my head that I was grown up and everybody else kindly playing along with me and obliging my make-believe existence. That colleagues and friends were indulging me in my own little game of 'dress up' as I go about my daily life. 

So why has such a basic task as writing a card lulled me into a state of loss? Well just what do you write in a Christening card? Do you put - 'congratulations on being born around 8 months ago?' 
How much money do you spend on a gift? Will the baby think I'm cheap and judge me on my taste of cotton socks? From all these questions I arrived with one answer- I do not know because I’ve not had to deal with this before. I’ve graduated into adulthood and I don’t have all my credits yet. 

Attending a christening is much like a wedding; it’s a rite of passage into adult life. People around me are reproducing and I can’t even keep track of my period! 

So I coo in the faces of my friends’ offspring all the while knowing I am nowhere near this point in life as much as I can enjoy it for my loved ones. I RSVP to wedding invitations and I realise I ought to have a crack of doing this myself. 

Then it strikes me that I have grown up, in front of my own eyes without even realising it. I said ‘yes’ to a lovely man when he asked me if I would be his wife, I have somehow signed my life away in purchasing a house with said lovely man, and to pay for all these wonderful commitments I found myself a job, a real job with holiday allowance and everything. 

Life has a funny way of falling into place like that. And a fall it is. It doesn’t assemble or convene into a neat little package but life drops down as great big lumps and sometimes pathetic trickles of information and experiences which we have to gather together and piece up to make sense of, to step back and see a clearer picture of what we’re doing and where we are. It’s still a bit bumpy and I might even make a wrong turn along the way but I know where I’m headed and I’m here to enjoy the ride.

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